Dreaming in Gold
by Girl Who Writes
Summary: It is not her past that stalks her waking self. Setsuna & Minako.
1. Dreaming in Gold

**Title:** Dreaming in Gold  
**Author:** Girl Who Writes  
**Prompt: **July 1 - A dream is nothing but a ghost  
**Characters:** Setsuna/Minako  
**Word Count:** 105  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** For her, dreams and hauntings are one in the same.  
**Notes:** Written for LJ's 31_days community. Part two to follow in a day or two.  
**Disclaimer:** The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

She sees her in her dreams; iridescent gold and smiling. Venus. Inanna. It's almost as if she's alive again. She wants to reach out to her, to beg for forgiveness.

Inanna is always trying to say something to her, in those dreams and yet, all Setsuna can hear is the silence of the Time Gates.

(She should have protected Inanna. Should have never left her alone to fight. Should have never left her alone to die.)

And when she wakes up, the golden figure doesn't completely disappear. She lingers, not longer smiling, no longer glowing quite as luminously.

No longer a dream, but a haunting.

* * *


	2. Memory in Pieces

**Title:** Memory in Pieces  
**Author:** Girl Who Writes  
**Prompt: **July 2 - The limit of a sweet memory  
**Characters:** Setsuna/Minako  
**Word Count:** 151  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** It is not her past that stalks her waking self.  
**Notes:** Written for LJ's 31_days community. I haven't decided if this is the end or if I'll add more just yet. Knowing me, I'll probably add at least one more part.  
**Disclaimer:** The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

Minako dreams of her past life too often. She wishes she had normal dreams, of crazy weddings and impossible tests, not of harrowing battles and mystical kingdoms.

Inanna. That is her name. _Was_ her name. In those first few moments of waking, she cannot remember where Inanna starts and Minako ends. That whoever she was back during that golden time isn't that far away from who she is now.

But it is not Inanna that constantly stalks her waking self.

It is the shadow at the edge of her memories, the person she looks for in a crowd, the person she reaches for in moments of panic and fear. She cannot make out their face but they are there is all of her dreams, a presence that comforts her more than anything else she has ever known.

And when she wakes up, she has never felt so alone in her life.

* * *


	3. Golden Ghosts

**Title:** Dreaming in Gold

**Author:** Girl Who Writes

**Prompt: **July 4 - try to keep myself away from me

**Characters:** Setsuna/Minako

**Word Count:** 243

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** She can see them out of the corner of her eye, and she has to wonder if the time is getting close; the time when their past and present will finally meet.

**Notes:** Written for LJ's 31_days community. The delay was never intended - between university work and my own procrastination, this has only just been finished. I'm optimistic that the next part will be done soon. And for everyone telling me my fics are too short, I'm already chipping away at a much, much longer fic that I hope to start posting soon.

**Disclaimer:** The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

She can see them out of the corner of her eye, and she has to wonder if the time is getting close; the time when their past and present will finally meet. She honestly wonders what will change when they have their memories, their old selves, back.

She both anticipates and dreads the day they remember. Her loaded remarks will no longer be ignored, her distance will not be tolerated. She may not be happy in this life – she is not, by nature, a happy person – but she is comfortable here, content with her place in things. It is more than she expected.

But for now, their old selves over around, almost superimposed over their faces when she looks carefully. She can hardly meet Usagi's gaze, Serenity glows so brightly. She looks to Haruka and sees Rhea smirking back; to Hotaru and the calm, knowing look of Pandora stares back.

She does not look for Inanna. What would be worse to see – Inanna's blue eyes staring at her, pleading with her, to explain why she was alone in those last agonizing hours, why she lay dying on the battlefield for hours and not even the one who claimed to love her as best as she could had been by her side. Or the sweet smile and forgiveness, understanding, for her absence.

If she thought it would help, she would return to her post. But her golden ghost is always brighter in the dark.

* * *


	4. Shadows in the Mind

**Title:** Shadows in the Mind

**Author:** Girl Who Writes

**Prompt: **August 25 - Memories are films about ghosts

**Characters:** Setsuna/Minako

**Word Count:** 342

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** It is not her past that stalks her waking self.

**Notes:** Written for LJ's 31_days community. The longest of all the parts so far. I tried to cut it down, but I liked it like this. There is an epilogue to finish this which will be posted in a few days.

**Disclaimer:** The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

The shadows of her dreams always seemed shapeless in the morning light. She can never make out the faces, the patterns of the tiles or the flowers that framed the gardens once her eyes open. She tries to ask Artemis but the words dissolve before she speaks.

And then, the pieces suddenly come together. It's after a battle; her legs are streaked with blood and she aches all over. She manages to climb in her window and tumble into bed, not even bothering to take off her shoes. She knows there will be trouble in the morning, all the blood and dirt, but she can't make herself care.

Sleep comes easily and the answers are waiting for her.

_Her entire body is heavy. Her mouth tastes of blood and the pain is burning, scalding her. Her head lolls to the side and she wants to vomit; there is sharp white bone sticking out of her leg, which is bent at an impossible angle. _

_And what she cannot see, she knows. There is nothing but death surrounding her – the deaths of people she knew and loved, people who tried to do the right thing. She is the only one left, and even that won't last very long. How long has she been here, in this terrible silence? One hour, maybe two? _

_Why isn't she dead? _

_She's waiting for someone._

_Something is clutched in her good hand and she holds it up; a gold bracelet with an ornate key and a little gold heart hanging from it. Her vision is blurry, but she doesn't have to read it to know what is inscribed on the little gold heart._

When Minako's eyes open, morning light is only just spilling over the horizon. She stumbles to the bathroom, and begins to fill the bath. As steam fills her bathroom, Minako stares in the mirror and reaches up to write something in the foggy mirror.

And as she settles in the scalding bathroom, watching dirt and dried blood wash off her bruised skin, she begins to cry.

* * *


	5. Waking Truth

**Title:** Waking Truth

**Author:** Girl Who Writes

**Characters:** Setsuna/Minako

**Word Count:** 1024

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** There are at least ten different ways to start this conversation, and while Minako can think of all of them, she can't manage to say even one of them.

**Notes:** This final chapter sort of exploded and changed. I'll say now that this is the end of this fic, but the beginning of another fic - and that things get complex from here. I hope you all enjoy it, especially since it took so long :D

**Disclaimer:** The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

Setsuna answers the door and Minako is struck by how she's never seen Setsuna like this before – her hair piled on top of her head, in the softest looking pants and top. It makes her look younger, gentler. And suddenly Minako wishes she hadn't come, not like this – her hair untidy, her school uniform rumpled and her legs covering in cuts and bruises.

"Minako." She is holding a ceramic mug with a lopsided purple butterfly painted on the side – obviously the work of Hotaru.

There are at least ten different ways to start this conversation, and while Minako can think of all of them, she can't manage to say even one of them.

Setsuna knows why Minako is here. It is written all over her – the shadow in her eyes, her unkempt hair, the aura of gold around her that no longer holds Inanna's features. She is almost whole again – Venus, Inanna, Minako – and even though this has been her mission for so long, to gather Serenity's court and see their memories returned, it leaves a sour taste in her mouth.

"Please come in, Minako."

Minako can't remember a time when she's crossed the threshold of this house alone; and notices the details so clearly – an expensive cream handbag on the hall table that has to be Michiru's. A bowl piled with keys. Dozens of photographs of Hotaru, Haruka and Michiru hanging along the wall. A pair of purple heels sitting against a wall.

Setsuna escorts her into the kitchen - where a fashion magazine is open on the counter and a bouquet of yellow and pink tulips are arranged in a glass vase with bubbles of colour dotted throughout. It reminds Minako of fireworks and then of lost starseeds and she feels depressed.

"Would you like a drink? We have tea and juice and..."

"No. No, I'm not thirsty," Minako frowns and realizes she hasn't taken off her shoes.

"What can I help you with?" Setsuna takes a sip of her tea and then tips out the rest, rinsing the mug and stacking it on the drying rack.

Minako wants to yell at her – 'Look at me! You know what I want, why did you hide it?' but the words die before she can open her mouth.

"Did you ... what did you call me?"

The words feel like tumbling through broken glass – only some shards that break the skin, but they sting. Setsuna swallows and turns around.

"If you don't know Minako, then I can't tell you." Her response is mechanical, emotionless; her hand drifts up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I know. You know. You know I know. I remember that you used to wear red flowers in your hair and black lace gloves. You and Luna used to be friends, and..."

"Minako, stop." Setsuna's voice is softer now, more human.

"Only if you answer my question." Minako's voice is sharp.

"Minako, this is pointless."

"Do you think saying my name does anything? It's just annoying."

Setsuna gave her an annoyed look; one that didn't reach her eyes, which seem sad. "You've known me long enough to know that I can't tell you anything you don't know."

"I know I died waiting for you. I know the last thing you said to me was that I couldn't be weak, that I was meant to be a soldier before anything else." She wants those words to hurt, and Setsuna flinches. Minako is not a cruel person and yet, she likes that her words cause pain.

"The princess was dead, the senshi were dead, the Queen was dead, the cats were gone and I was the only one left." Tears welled in Minako's eyes and for a moment she can feel Inanna's fear and grief bubbling up.

When she looks up, Setsuna looks sadder than Minako has ever seen her.

"It's not that simple. That night... everything happened." Setsuna swallows hard and looks her in the eye. "My duty was... I had to remain at the Time Gates."

"And I had to protect the Princess," Minako retorted. "We all failed. Why couldn't you have...?"

"Have what?"

Minako doesn't know. She doesn't know how anyone could pick just one thing to change about that horrible, horrible day. Something huge? Or something small, that offered one person a moment of comfort...

"Why did you come here?" Setsuna's arms are crossed over her chest and she looks tired.

"Because..." _Because I thought there was someone who loved me._

"Because you loved Inanna." Her words surprise her, and Minako takes a step closer to Setsuna, to reach out for the older girl's hand. "And I..."

Setsuna takes a step backwards, out of Minako's reach and it feels like Setsuna has slapped her.

"I think it's time to go, Minako," Setsuna replies flatly.

"But..."

"Minako, I – better than anyone – can tell you how pointless it is trying to recapture the past... we were different people..."

Setsuna's words become white noise in her ears, but Minako understands – the meaning settles around her like a cold sweat. Setsuna doesn't want her. There is no great love here, waiting for her. Not even a friend, not really.

And before she can stop herself, Minako reaches to her right and pushes the starseed vase and the perfect, crisp tulips off the bench and watches the vase tumble through the air, spraying water everywhere; watches with abject fascination, as the vase smashes into hundreds of pieces on the floor, each tiny coloured bubble broken away from the others.

As Setsuna kneels to gather up the broken glass, Minako turns to leave but pauses, her back turned to the other girl.

"Do you remember what the bracelet said, Setsuna?" Minako said bitterly. "It said 'You aren't weak, Inanna. It is I who is weak'."

And then she leaves. She pulls the door shut and walks down the path, ignoring Michiru and Haruka who have just pulled up in the driveway, and are calling out to her. Ignores the heavy feeling in her chest; the shame bubbling in her mind, and the traitorous tears running down her cheeks.

But she keeps walking.

* * *


End file.
